"I opened my mouth, almost said something. Almost. The rest of my life might have turned out differently if I had. But I didn’t."
Being under the constant pressure and “crunch time” life has presented itself with me in the last couple of months, it’s making me question my strengths, my weaknesses, my sanity and my happiness.
So much has happened in such a short little time, and every day there’s new decisions to be made. How do I know I’m not making the wrong ones?
It’s all in the risk of life.
I don’t know if I’m happy where I am right now.
Then change it.
But it’s not that simple. It is,but it isn’t.
Some days I’m at my highest,
Others I’m not.
Finding a house to move into, trying to focus on my major, deciding to move home or not, trying to find a job, decide my future, all while trying to pass my computer science and math classes.
All just to have a stable job.
I feel like I’m doing everything for the wrong reasons.
and it’s making me question myself and my decisions.
I over analyze and I stress about the unnecessary.
I don’t know why I keep denying myself things that I know will bring me peace.
I don’t spend enough time for myself, I’m too busy trying to handle business.
And then when I reach out my hand, people ignore and swat it away.
Idk why I keep denying myself of what I really want in my life.
I’m just making life more difficult than it needs to be.
"You wanted smooth sailing and I’ve always been a tsunami."